Never Forget
by Drippingly Sarcastic
Summary: Botan takes the week off and locks herself in her room for no apparent reason. There's only one person that can reach and help her. HxB one-shot.


Well, I was thinking of Botan's past, and this kind of wrote itself. So, yeah.

Disclaimer: I do not own.

**Never Forget**

"Yo, Toddler! Who's she and where's Botan?" Yusuke yelled as he entered Koenma's office with the rest of the team and the girl with an oar that had summoned them. The little god looked up from stamping his papers and frowned at the interruption. The worst was that he had called for the detectives so he couldn't yell at this disruption.

"She's one of my ferry girls. Botan took the week off. You'll see her when she comes back. Now, I have a mission for you."

"Let me guess; a demon, a pretty strong one too, is in Tokyo and we need to stop him before the nigen body count gets too high." Hiei said. The Toddler nodded and Hiei scoffed.

"How did you know?" Koenma asked.

"We felt a demon aura and we were about to go investigate when you called us." Kurama said.

"Oh. Then why are you still here? Get to it!" The team left and Koenma sighed before going back to his papers; at least he had gotten to yell. He was too stressed right now; he should take a day off too. Unfortunately, a god cannot have a day of… With these defeating thoughts, Koenma went back to work.

And so the team went to take care of the demon. It wasn't hard, considering it was one vs. four, and they were soon done. All week, the unknown ferry girl went to get them, all week, Koenma gave them a mission, and, all week, the team took care of everything.

But when, two days later, the still nameless ferry girl went to get them, the team decided that something wasn't right.

"Pacifier-Breath! Where's Botan?" Yusuke yelled, coming in.

"I don't know. She hasn't come back yet. When I sent Ayame to check, she said that Botan had locked herself in her bedroom and refused to come out."

The team looked at each other.

"Hn. Why did she leave?" Hiei asked; the answer as to why Botan was acting this way was probably linked to why she had taken a week off. After all, that girl was a workaholic and had never taken more than a day off at any given time.

"I don't know… I think I yelled at her and then she said she was taking a week off and left. She was kind of pale too… I didn't give it much attention as I have way too much paperwork to do for it to be healthy."

"What and why did you yell at her?" Kurama asked patiently. Koenma frowned in concentration, trying to remember.

"Well, she was talking, making fun of how I stamped papers without reading them, which, I do, and even though I knew she didn't mean it, I just… blew up on her. I think I yelled 'I am your boss! Never forget you owe me respect! Apologize now!' or something along those lines. She became pale-ish, apologized, and left after saying she was taking the week off." Koenma explained.

"Hn. No wonder she left." Hiei stated.

"I don't see why. The Toddler always yells at her and us and everyone else." Kuwabara said. Hiei stopped himself from saying it didn't surprise him that the oaf didn't understand.

"That's true. Do you know something we don't, Hiei?" Kurama asked his friend.

" 'Never forget'. She'll freak out if you say that." He didn't say anything else before he left Koenma's office; after all, he had better things to do. Yusuke looked at Kurama.

"Me and Kuwabara will go see her. You think you can handle whatever the Toddler throw at you alone?" Kurama nodded. As the two delinquents left, he got a mission from Koenma, the mission they had been summoned for.

The two delinquents of the team went to Botan's apartment, as that was where Ayame said she was. They knocked on the front door. Getting no answer, they tried the handle and saw it was open. They went in, firmly believing they could help the girl. They walked to her bedroom, the only door that was shut.

"Botan?" Yusuke asked as he knocked lightly on the door.

"Go 'way" the muffled and rough voice of Botan answered him from inside.

"Can we come in?" Kuwabara asked.

"No." The two boys looked at each other's and tried the door. Locked of course.

"Botan, let us in!"

"No."

"We're coming in!" With that, Yusuke tried to force the door open, with no success. Even with the help of Kuwabara, the door refused to budge. At last, they gave up, figuring that the fox could sweet talk her into opening the door and telling him what was wrong.

In the room, Botan gripped her cover harder when she heard the front door close.

"She's not herself right now! She wouldn't even open the door!" Yusuke told Kurama the next time they met up. "I couldn't even open the door to see what was up! I think she reinforced it since the time we burst in on her changing…" Kurama resisted the urge to roll his eyes at that; of course she would get a stronger door after something like that! He could still see very clearly in his mind the red handprints Yusuke and Kuwabara had on their cheeks for days… one from Botan and one from Keiko and Shizuru when they had learned of the accident.

"I'll go see her then. She might open up to me more than with the two of you. You do have a tendency to blurt out everything to anyone who will listen…"

"Botan? It's Kurama. Can I come in?"

"No. Go away."

"Botan, this isn't like you. You shouldn't hole up in your room. You need to talk to us. Or, at least, to someone."

"I don't want to talk."

"You're hurting yourself!"

"And?"

"You hurting yourself hurt us."

"…"

"Tell me what's wrong. Please." Kurama was pleading now. From the sound of her voice, he knew she was depressed and hurt. He wanted to help her just like she had helped him so many times.

"I can't. You wouldn't understand."

"You won't even try to tell me?"

"No. Please... just go away…"

Kurama sighed. He took a plant out of his hair and made it pass under the door. This plant was really useful to him in his thieve days as it allows him to look at what the plant was 'seeing'. Once it was in the room, he started to meditate and get in contact with it. With his eyes closed, he could see the dark inside of the room; it was the middle of the afternoon, but the shutters were already closed. From what he could make out, Botan was bundled up in her bedcovers, and from their conversation earlier, she wouldn't be willing to get out of there.

Kurama sighed as he let go of the plant's 'eyes' and called it back into seed form. He took it and put it in his hair again.

"I'm leaving. You know my number, so call me anytime you want to talk, all right?" Getting no answer from her, he left.

Tears escaped Botan's eyes as the front door closed behind her friend. But it could not be helped…

"I just don't know how to help her." Kurama said, sighing. How he hated being powerless…

"Hn. Why don't you just leave her alone like she wants you to do?" Hiei asked.

The two friends were in the forest behind the temple, Kurama leaning against a tree and playing with a plant, Hiei in the tree and sharpening his blade. Kurama scowled at his friend's answer.

"She's not like you, Hiei. She doesn't need calm to gather her thoughts. She needs people around her. Besides, she had more than a week. I don't leave you alone after one week passed. Why would I leave her?"

"She doesn't want your help. Just accept that fact and move on."

"But she needs help. Just like you need help but refuse to ask or accept it, she needs us to be here but she's pushing us away."

"Hn. I can't help you. Go talk to the old hag."

"Have you tried talking to her?" Kurama asked suddenly.

"Hn. Why would I waste my time doing that?"

"You're the only one that didn't try. Plus, you knew what she was freaking out about. And besides, it wouldn't hurt to try."

"Fox, the only reason I knew why she hates those words is because I said them to her once and she started shivering like a leave in a storm." Kurama sighed.

"Just… just pass by and go see her."

"Hn." With that, the little fire demon left. Kurama gave a small smile; he was sure that Hiei would pass by the ferry girl's apartment sooner or later.

As Kurama had predicted, Hiei was at Botan's apartment the next day. He entered by the front door (for once) without knocking and went to her room.

"Open the door, Onna."

"No."

"Do it."

"Go away."

"Fine." With that, he left by the front door (for once) and went to her window. He easily managed to open shutters and window with his skills and, once inside, closed them again. He sat on the edge of the bed and leaned against the wall, his eyes on the bundle of covers that was Botan. Neither of them moved. Once night fell, Botan started to fall asleep. That's when the nightmares begun.

The Botan in the dream, or should I say memory, couldn't have been more than ten. As a small human girl, she already had blue hair (which meant that it was natural- mystery solved!) and lavender eyes.

"Girl! Get in here!" The voice of a man said. Botan gulped, and, trying to hide her fear, got out of her room and into the living room. There, she was greeted by the sight of her father, in the couch, with a bottle of beer in his hand.

"Go set the table. And make diner while you're at it. You're mother's gonna be late." He ordered.

"H-Hai, Father." She quickly made her way to the kitchen and did as she was told. Half an hour later, her mother was home and they ate. But as soon as her father tasted what she had cooked, he spat it out and rose to his feet, angry. From there, he slapped Botan, making her fall off the stool she was sitting on.

"Are you trying to poison me, bitch? You can't even cook correctly, and you still try to feed me this shit? Never forget that I'm your father. Without me, you wouldn't even be there!" Her mother was about to defend her when her father turned to his wife. "I think you're right. She's useless. I'm selling her tomorrow." At the prospect of money, her mother's eyes lit up and she looked at Botan up and down, calculating in her mind how much money she could get out of this.

"Go to your room and stay there." Her mother said. Botan hurriedly left the kitchen, not wanting to get hit by her father again. She had tears in her eyes from the slap and the insults (after all, her culinary skills were very good, and she definitely wasn't a bitch or useless), but she refused to cry.

The dream changed, going from the run down shack to a well tended house. Botan was now a little older, maybe twelve or thirteen. She was scrubbing the floor of her new master's house. The collar she had around her neck made her a slave. She was working hard when a little girl, the spoiled daughter of the owner, came in, running. She made a vase fall down without meaning to, and stopped running. At that moment, her father entered and saw the broken vase.

"Who did this?" He asked, anger in his voice. Not only was it a gift from his first wife, but it was an antique too. His daughter, like a deer caught in the headlights of a car, looked around the room. Her eyes fell on Botan, and, seeing her scapegoat, pointed at her.

"She did it, Father." He turned to Botan. He gestured at his daughter to get out.

"You dare. You dare." He kicked her, as she was on her knees. "You clumsy bitch! You should be grateful to be here! I give you food, clothes, shelter, and how do you repay me? By breaking my things! Never forget that I'm your master, and that, if I wished, I could sell you to the red light district in less time than it takes you to snap your fingers!" He kicked her again. "Now clean that up!" With a final blow to her ribcage, he left. She started picking the glass shards up.

The dream changed again. Botan was two years older than before. She was dressed in a kimono. It wasn't beautiful and was quite plain, but it was a kimono all the same. It was nighttime and she was at a festival. The master's wife had given all of the slaves a little money and clean clothes, and had told them to enjoy themselves. She was a good woman. As Botan was passing in front of a dark alley, an arm shot out and grabbed her as a hand went to cover her mouth. She was dragged farther in the alley, away from onlookers' eyes. She was turned over and saw her aggressor. He was a demon, something she had heard about but never seen. His skin was dark, his eyes yellow, and long fangs that reflected the moon light.

"Not bad." He said. "Quite pretty for a human… and I'd say you're a virgin too." With that he ripped off her kimono. He laughed at her whimpers and pathetic attempts to get away. He whispered in her ear.

"Never forget how this feel, little girl. Your first and last time." With that, he raped her.

The next morning, the maimed body of a young blue-haired girl was found. No one noticed the crying ghost in the alleyway.

Once again, the dream changed. Hiei recognized the place; the clearing with his tree. The dream version of him had Botan up against the wall, gripping the girl by her neck, her feet a couple of inches off the ground.

"Never forget that I could kill you whenever I wish. You're not protected by Reikai law. Don't. Push me. You'll regret it." His voice was cold and full of poison. And then he dropped her and left, vanishing from sight. Botan fell to her knees. She was trembling and softly rocking back and forth, trying to stop herself from crying.

He remembered that day well. She had been bugging him, and he had just learned just how much his life was in Koenma's hands. In short, he had been pissed off and had wanted to take his anger out on something for a while. He also remembered the look of fear on the ferry girl's face, fear that hadn't been from the fact he could have strangled her by putting an ounce more of pression on her neck, but from his words.

He heard her whimper right next to him and snapped out of her thoughts. He looked at her and then woke her up, deciding that it was too cruel, even for him, to let her fight the ghosts of her past like that. When she woke up and saw him, she flung her arms around his neck and cried. He didn't say anything, and wrapped his arms around her after a moment of hesitation. They stayed that way until Botan's sobs quiet down.

"Onna." he said after a while. She whimpered.

"Botan, look at me." She looked up at the sound of her name.

"You can't just live in the past. You have to let it go, even if it's hard."

"…Yeah. Thank you"

"Hn." With that, he let go of her and got up. He reopened the shutters and the window, and, as he was about to jump out, he turned toward her.

"Never forget that you have people that care about you now." With those words, he disappeared, leaving her alone once more. But this time, a small smile was on her lips.

She would not be cast off by them.

XxXxX

So, I hope you enjoyed. Please review, I would love to know your opinion!


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